Morning loubie,well another Sunday they are coming too fast too often and too the same all empty and heart braking times passing but just doesn't feel like anythings happening in that time everythings so strange since uv gone not the same just empty is all I can describe it as I think. Emma got ur fluffy bunny outfit out that auntie Tara bought you for when you came out of hospital Emma said it smelt of Ryan but I can only smell you. Thinking about U all the time it never stops and I don't want it to either. Hold me close baby girl I need U more than U know I love you so much it hurts have to block my thoughts out sometimes via I sjiat cant stand the pain that ur gone maybe pretend I don't know that all of this isn't real that in hope ul wake up at the side of me again,I just don't get it. Think not having you here and the fact that uv gone I the sickest feeling iv ever felt n fact I cant even describe it it's wrong n disgusting n just beyond any words of description. I love you so much please stay close to me n ur sisters,I don't think this baby U sent is going to be like U which cant happen anyway baby cos there is only ever one loubie for me and thats you. Keep smiling beautiful mummys speacial little blue eyes I love you with all my heart forever and ever and ever mwah mwah mwah mwah x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x. X x x x. X. X